yea yea, we are all equal...

Ok, as I have stated before, the second I admit that Jesus loves me and died for me, I become accountable to that fact. That accountability must lead to a change in how I view life. The simple act of being loved and accepting love means I must open to love as I myself am loved. (Yes, that is alot of love baby!)

I, myself, have a desire to love like Christ does. I think part of learning to love as Christ loves is to see people as Christ does. So, this opens up the line of questioning, "Just how does Jesus see people?" The first answer that has come to me, (with the help of Don Miller) is Jesus sees people as the same, as equals. While this may seem like a good thing, we must realize that the Bible does say that no one is good, no one is righteous. So, Jesus sees us all in need. He sees us a sinners who need to be redeemed. I believe the reason Jesus came and died was because the heart of God was broken. When man stepped out of the fellowship with God, his heart was broken by betrayal. When you read the book of Hosea, you get a perfect view of God's unending love for mankind. We, as the whore, betray God. Then, God who desperately loves us gives everything he has to get us back. Gives his own life.

So, Jesus sees us all as equal. Equal sinners. Then he loves us in spite of that and reaches out to show us that love.

See, this is where my first problem comes in. I have a hard time seeing everyone as equals. But, it may not be what you think. I more readily equate myself with the outcasts and sinners than I do with the churched. I have a problem looking down my nose at the "churched" and the "holy". I think this comes from past experiences with churches and Christians. (God is teaching me to let go and forgive the past, but that is a story for another time.)

So, I find myself at a crossroad of sorts. No, I take that back. I wish it was a crossroad because I would then have other options. It is a straight road that I have to keep moving forward on. I have to realize that we are ALL created equal, but despite that fact, we are ALL equally forgiven.

So, to sum it up, since I am loved, I must love. I have to let God take me past all my prejudices and show me how to love.

Now, if I can just put all this into action....

We have earned death....

Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

So do you see it? The deep contrast between the first part and second part? Our payment for what we do is death. Ok, yea, that is simple. But when you combine it with Romans 3:23, where it says all have sinned, we realize there is no getting around it. We have sinned. Our payment is we die. But wait, what is that second part? The FREE gift is life? What? So, we earn death, but we are given life? That makes no sense!

Ok, I will stop being dumb now, but God hit me with this today. Yea, I knew it, and had read it before, but it really sank in. We have been given a gift. We try to earn our salvation and his love by doing all this stuff. Like ministries. Or church attendance. Or giving money. And I am not saying that all this stuff is bad. But, this says the only thing we can earn is death. His love is a gift. A free gift.

I will write more tomorrow when I sort this out, but it is rocking my world right now.

Fine Irish Whiskey

Right now I find myself struggling once again with accepting and knowing I am forgiven. I am starting to embrace his love, and day by day I believe it more. But guilt over what I have done in the past still shows up some days. Thing is, I think I may be using guilt as an excuse. I mean, if I don't let go of guilt, I can use it when God moves my heart. I can say, "but God, I am still not good enough. Find someone more capable." I think I need to embrace an Isaiah experience. Standing before God, I admit I come from an unclean people. I scream out, "I am undone!" and watch as the blood pours and feel the coal burn my lips, heart, down to my very being. I hear the voice of Jesus whisper "Do no call unclean what I have made clean."

I am beginning to realize that when I hold on to my guilt, I am calling Jesus a liar and saying that the cross was worthless to me.

That is an intense revelation that I am having to let sink in slowly. In fact, all of these realizations and revelations of the past few weeks are like a fine Irish Whiskey. It can not be watered down with ice or soda. It must taken straight. You have have to sip, not chug. And, like fine whiskey, the warming glow of inebriation washes over me. The truth is intoxicating. I love it.